Tuesday, November 06, 2007


This money thing is getting worse. I've got to wait until the weekend, when MornMama comes to stay (which I'm really looking forward too) - before I can send the new forms off as she needs to sign them. Despite her having signed everything already. I hate the pettyness of these things; they have both our details on file, but because the form has a different heading - despite being nearly identical - they can't do anything until they've sat on it for another week or ten (at which point, they will probably tell me I have to send in documents they already have).

I have to pay my fees for uni. Now, thanks to the wonderful grants system, they won't decide my fee status until they decide what loan I'm getting - and so I currently have to pay all the fees (that would be a little over £3000). Not at once, just every month, for nine months. When you add that to my rent, you're looking at an outgoing of nearly just over £900 per month. My dad is helping out, thankfully, with the rent (I don't know how I'm going to pay that back, if ever, considering the amount I already owe him).

I'm looking for a job. But I have a problem - I'm either too qualified (I have a teaching qualification) or not qualified enough (I don't have a degree). I don't have any experience in anything except teaching (but I don't have a degree) or working in a shop (I've been turned down for the three jobs I've applied for), and I don't have the interpersonal skills or patience to work in a bar, especially if I have to be up at sparrowfart to go rowing.

If it was just me I was supporting, I wouldn't be so worried - I could, ultimately, live on beans. But Indigo needs his vaccines doing and his teeth cleaning, Dorris needs fixing (and an xray doing first), both she and Pete need thier vaccines. And they both need to eat proper diets, with vegetables and vitamins and what-have-you. I can't scrimp on thier food, certainly not any more than I'm doing by switching them to cheaper food and hay (although it smells good and the buns seem to like it). I can't find cheaper vegetables than what I'm paying. We're already crowded into our smaller place where the buns can't go out as much as I'd like them too, and Indigo doesn't get the run I want him too (and he has to go up and down the stairs). I just start to wonder if I can offer them the life I want them to have.

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